Hello ladies. There has been a lot in the fat news lately about Kevin Smith getting booted off a Southwest Airlines flight for being "too fat". The amazing Kate Harding has blogged about her outrage and hope that because Smith is famous there will be more light shed on this issue. I certainly hope there is.
Kate's latest column on Salon.com's Broadsheet, Kevin Smith: The face of flying while fat, brought me to tears as she described how her sister opted not to fly due to her fear of being delayed, ejected or asked to pay for another seat and instead drove to their mother's deathbed. All the while hoping their pained mother could hold on until she got there. Thankfully she made it but why should she be made to feel this way?
The experiences of these people and others who've commented on Kate's site break my heart. Are we not all human beings? Do we not all deserve to have the same rights? And lastly, are you telling me that just because there's more to my body that I should be made to feel like an outcast on an airplane? I cannot accept that brushing against me is going to disgust my seat neighbor so much that I should leave the plane. I also refuse to believe that I'm a hazard in case of an emergency. What can people possibly think I'm gonna do? "Oh, the plane is on fire I'm just gonna stand here in your way while it burns us both alive." Seriously? No. I'm not going to allow anything bad to happen to myself. I may be fat but I do have an extremely high level of self preservation. Not like other people wouldn't climb over my fat ass to save their own lives too.
If you as a fat bride plan on having a honeymoon this may be something you have to think about. It may be something you want to look into, write letters about and speak out about. I feel like if this could happen to a celebrity this can happen to any of us, even on our special day. Derek, the future husband, has big plans in his life. He wants us to be able to travel to Japan and Australia among other places. I don't want a trip for two to equal the cost of a trip for four. The seats on the planes don't equal the cost of the plane and upkeep.
According to The Weight Control Information Network statistics, "About two-thirds of adults in the United States are overweight, and almost one-third are obese...". Despite the fact that I don't believe in BMI as a measurement of health, what this statistic tells me is that there are a LOT of fat people in the United States. Are all of these people meant to never fly on a plane?
I want all people to feel as though they are free to do as they please. I thought the US was based on freedoms for its people, not just its thin people. Don't back down, ladies. Fight for your rights to be who you are!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
Followers
Six Followers! Life is amazing. If any of you ladies out there have anything to contribute to this site please don't hesitate to let me know! I'll be glad to let you have a weekly column or you can just drop some lines to me and I'll use it in future posts.
Thank you wonderful women for getting the ball rolling. Don't forget to tell 2 friends!!
Thank you wonderful women for getting the ball rolling. Don't forget to tell 2 friends!!
Sunday, February 14, 2010
It's Not About Being A Bride: It's About Being A Woman
Recently, a lot of ladies I know who can associate with being fat or overweight, have been struggling with the concept of loving themselves.
I will never be an advocate of being unhappy. If your weight makes you unhappy it's up to you to pinpoint exactly what it's doing to you. Do you eat because you're sad, stressed or mad? If you eat your emotions it may be a good time to find other ways to express yourself. I found, as cliched as it sounds, taking a walk will help release some of your negative energies and make you feel better.
Do you eat because you're bored? I have. Which is why it's a great idea to fill your spare time with hobbies rather than nom noms.
After that are you still fat? I am. What about your fat is it that you don't like? Society has dictated that skinny is beautiful. If you aren't skinny you aren't beautiful. Is that how you feel?
Let me tell you this, you CAN be fat and beautiful. Society knows NOTHING about beauty. Why do you think the saying is "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"? It's because what one finds beautiful another could find repugnant. And trust me, a man doesn't have to be a "chubby chaser" to find a fat woman beautiful. All he needs are the right eyes.
Beyond that, you don't need a man to tell you you're beautiful (or a woman for some of you ladies out there). Because you're first going to have to BELIEVE you are. It's not rocket science to find something about yourself attractive. Once you know what that trait is, own it! Play it up and use it to your advantage. Look at yourself in the mirror and KNOW you're beautiful. You don't have to love every part of your body. No woman does. Trust me, I've known many women of varying sizes and even the skinniest of them has an issue with something about her body.
You don't have to love your body to love yourself but you should at least be kind to it. When you say to your body that it's a fat piece of garabage, you're telling yourself that you aren't worthy of anyone's love or attention. Just because you're fat?! You really believe that? Well, it's false. Every human is worthy of love and someone out there will love them.
Obviously, I don't want to make this a "me" party however, I do have my own life as a point of reference. I spent many years of my life worrying if someone would ever love me. I was a self loather from WAY back. I was fat all my life and still am! My entire school career was rife with name calling and teasing. I had a few friends but none of them seemed able to understand the hurt I felt. None of them were close to being literally disgusting to all their classmates.
How do you come out of that? How do you ever live your life normally? Every time I've tried to lose weight it's never been for my health or myself. It's always been because I wanted to sit at the cool table in school. I wanted to be accepted by people who only teased me because I was different from them. You can see why these diets didn't work. How could I even stick with something so shallow?
By now you're wondering, "How on earth did you go from hating yourself and everything about you to loving yourself so fully?". Or you're wondering if I'm ever going to get to the point! Either way the answer is, YES. I mean, I just told myself, "Self, this is how it's going to be. Either you want to lose weight or you are going to be happy with who you are." The more I thought about it the more I realized I'm happy with who I am. I don't have to be skinny to be loved. Derek loved me for longer than I even knew without ever caring about my weight. Being skinny isn't going to change any of my problems, the emotional ones. I'm going to have a chemical imbalance and depression whether I'm 280 or 180. Of course, no one wants depression but even in coping with it I'm still happy with who I am.
Ladies, whether you're married, single, engaged or divorced; loving yourself will be the cornerstone of someone loving you. It will also provide the confidence you need to trust your partner and have them trust you.
You are all beautiful in my eyes!
I will never be an advocate of being unhappy. If your weight makes you unhappy it's up to you to pinpoint exactly what it's doing to you. Do you eat because you're sad, stressed or mad? If you eat your emotions it may be a good time to find other ways to express yourself. I found, as cliched as it sounds, taking a walk will help release some of your negative energies and make you feel better.
Do you eat because you're bored? I have. Which is why it's a great idea to fill your spare time with hobbies rather than nom noms.
After that are you still fat? I am. What about your fat is it that you don't like? Society has dictated that skinny is beautiful. If you aren't skinny you aren't beautiful. Is that how you feel?
Let me tell you this, you CAN be fat and beautiful. Society knows NOTHING about beauty. Why do you think the saying is "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"? It's because what one finds beautiful another could find repugnant. And trust me, a man doesn't have to be a "chubby chaser" to find a fat woman beautiful. All he needs are the right eyes.
Beyond that, you don't need a man to tell you you're beautiful (or a woman for some of you ladies out there). Because you're first going to have to BELIEVE you are. It's not rocket science to find something about yourself attractive. Once you know what that trait is, own it! Play it up and use it to your advantage. Look at yourself in the mirror and KNOW you're beautiful. You don't have to love every part of your body. No woman does. Trust me, I've known many women of varying sizes and even the skinniest of them has an issue with something about her body.
You don't have to love your body to love yourself but you should at least be kind to it. When you say to your body that it's a fat piece of garabage, you're telling yourself that you aren't worthy of anyone's love or attention. Just because you're fat?! You really believe that? Well, it's false. Every human is worthy of love and someone out there will love them.
Obviously, I don't want to make this a "me" party however, I do have my own life as a point of reference. I spent many years of my life worrying if someone would ever love me. I was a self loather from WAY back. I was fat all my life and still am! My entire school career was rife with name calling and teasing. I had a few friends but none of them seemed able to understand the hurt I felt. None of them were close to being literally disgusting to all their classmates.
How do you come out of that? How do you ever live your life normally? Every time I've tried to lose weight it's never been for my health or myself. It's always been because I wanted to sit at the cool table in school. I wanted to be accepted by people who only teased me because I was different from them. You can see why these diets didn't work. How could I even stick with something so shallow?
By now you're wondering, "How on earth did you go from hating yourself and everything about you to loving yourself so fully?". Or you're wondering if I'm ever going to get to the point! Either way the answer is, YES. I mean, I just told myself, "Self, this is how it's going to be. Either you want to lose weight or you are going to be happy with who you are." The more I thought about it the more I realized I'm happy with who I am. I don't have to be skinny to be loved. Derek loved me for longer than I even knew without ever caring about my weight. Being skinny isn't going to change any of my problems, the emotional ones. I'm going to have a chemical imbalance and depression whether I'm 280 or 180. Of course, no one wants depression but even in coping with it I'm still happy with who I am.
Ladies, whether you're married, single, engaged or divorced; loving yourself will be the cornerstone of someone loving you. It will also provide the confidence you need to trust your partner and have them trust you.
You are all beautiful in my eyes!
Friday, February 12, 2010
The First Post
One day I met a boy. I didn't think anything about him romantically and for 6 years we were best friends. He confessed to me his love. I decided to give it a chance. One second into 2010 he proposed to me. I'm getting married to this amazing best friend. Proving that fat girls do get married. Who knew, right?
A few months before we got engaged I was perusing the magazines at the local Hastings where I was confronted by may beautiful women sizes 0-2 modeling wedding gowns. I thought to myself, "Surely there have to be some plus sized models in here". I wish you could see my face and the slow 'no' head shake I was doing when I wrote my thought. I didn't see even a size 10. There might have been a size 8 girl in there. I'll spare you the diatribe about how I don't think size 10 is plus sized.
Seeing as how I'm a size 22, I know that any of the dresses that are 20 sizes smaller than I am aren't going to fit my body properly. Before Derek, my fiance, and I decided on having a theme wedding I was sick to my stomach thinking about how I'm going to live up to those tiny girls. Fat girls get married all the time! How is it there aren't more supportive magazines and websites encouraging full figured/plus sized women?
While I am having a themed wedding. I'm also a fat girl who has to deal with how the world treats fat brides as though they should be skinny on their wedding day. I'm hoping this blog will become a good resource or a go-to site for fat girls getting married. I'm here for you all!
A few months before we got engaged I was perusing the magazines at the local Hastings where I was confronted by may beautiful women sizes 0-2 modeling wedding gowns. I thought to myself, "Surely there have to be some plus sized models in here". I wish you could see my face and the slow 'no' head shake I was doing when I wrote my thought. I didn't see even a size 10. There might have been a size 8 girl in there. I'll spare you the diatribe about how I don't think size 10 is plus sized.
Seeing as how I'm a size 22, I know that any of the dresses that are 20 sizes smaller than I am aren't going to fit my body properly. Before Derek, my fiance, and I decided on having a theme wedding I was sick to my stomach thinking about how I'm going to live up to those tiny girls. Fat girls get married all the time! How is it there aren't more supportive magazines and websites encouraging full figured/plus sized women?
While I am having a themed wedding. I'm also a fat girl who has to deal with how the world treats fat brides as though they should be skinny on their wedding day. I'm hoping this blog will become a good resource or a go-to site for fat girls getting married. I'm here for you all!
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